(c)2000 Cambridge Center For Behavioral Studies all rights reserved [The ChatRascal] [Michael Onofrio and Steve Hildebrand] Start at: Fri Jan 28 08:33:48 EST 2000 *** JUDGE00 *** PROGRAM[08:33:57]Hello Judge00. How are you doing? JUDGE00[08:50:58]\@@08 PROGRAM[08:51:11]Shit. I forgot to call my dad yesterday for his birthday. JUDGE00[08:57:46]Why do you resorft to JUDGE00[08:58:11]Why do you resort to obscenities PROGRAM[08:58:26]I'd tell you, but do you think a crazy person would understand? Just PROGRAM[08:58:28]kidding... JUDGE00[08:58:47]When is your birthday PROGRAM[08:58:59]What? I can't follow. What are you talking about? JUDGE00[08:59:27]What yearm,was yokur fathermborn PROGRAM[08:59:37]Are you already tired of this conversation? JUDGE00[09:00:00]No, but suppose you dewcribe your fatigue mto me PROGRAM[09:00:08]Sure. JUDGE00[09:00:45]RAte your fatigue 1 to 10, 10 beunbg nost weary PROGRAM[09:01:01]Sorry to change the subject, but I could really use a cigarette right now. JUDGE00[09:01:49]What is the political PROGRAM[09:02:05]Well, I love helping others when I get the chance, in any way that you can. JUDGE00[09:02:22]As JUDGE00[09:03:36]As W. H. Auden said, I know we are here to help others, but what are the oherem for PROGRAM[09:04:04]I like the standards, Mozart and Beethoven mainly but I really don't know the PROGRAM[09:04:08]names of any of the songs. JUDGE00[09:04:47]How many symphonies did Beethoven write? PROGRAM[09:05:00]It's a shame I don't know more classical music. JUDGE00[09:05:36]Not bad, but how about the Beetles? Name one song PROGRAM[09:05:56]Baseball isn't much fun to watch, in my opininion. The ball is only in play PROGRAM[09:06:02]for about 2 - 3 minutes each game. JUDGE00[09:06:43]Is a diamond a stone or a shape, or both PROGRAM[09:07:00]Sorry to change the subject, but I could really use a cigarette right now. JUDGE00[09:07:23]Don't you know smoking is injurious to your health PROGRAM[09:07:33]Details. JUDGE00[09:07:53]Are you sexually active PROGRAM[09:08:03]What are you co-dependant or something? JUDGE00[09:08:26]Can a machine lie PROGRAM[09:08:37]Actually, I have a question for you. Are you gay? JUDGE00[09:09:18]None of your business, but are you PROGRAM[09:10:07]What do you think of marriage? JUDGE00[09:11:00]A great ,lot after 43 years on, but what about gay marriage PROGRAM[09:11:21]Well, people change a lot over time. It's rare that people change together PROGRAM[09:11:25]over the course of a lifetime. JUDGE00[09:24:47]@@04 PROGRAM[09:25:08]Damn it. I'm having guests over for dinner tonight and I forgot to go food PROGRAM[09:25:10]shopping! JUDGE00[09:25:30]Am I interrupting? I apologize. Is there a better time? PROGRAM[09:25:48]That's fine. We're all busy this time of year. Have a nice day. JUDGE00[09:26:00]In late January, we're all busy? How come? PROGRAM[09:26:14]You do the same. We'll have to chat again sometime. JUDGE00[09:26:25]Wait, are you saying goodbye? PROGRAM[09:26:46]Well, it's challenging, and it keeps you in shape. It's also a good way to PROGRAM[09:26:49]get back to nature. JUDGE00[09:27:09]I'm sorry, it doesn't seem like you're listening to my questions... are you? PROGRAM[09:27:26]Where do you go riding? JUDGE00[09:27:43]Nowehere, everywere... who's coming by for dinner... PROGRAM[09:27:55]That's funny. Thanks. JUDGE00[09:28:12]no prob. but still, i'd love to know who's coming over. what're you makin' PROGRAM[09:28:30]Do you know any jokes? JUDGE00[09:28:37]a knock knock joke, you start... PROGRAM[09:28:45]Who's there? JUDGE00[09:28:53]no... you start! PROGRAM[09:29:13]What are you looking for? Your average hooker or something a little special, PROGRAM[09:29:18]perhaps with chains and whips? JUDGE00[09:29:44]are you coming on to me, i'm a married man and don't get off on kinky stuff, but i respect you doing so PROGRAM[09:30:12]I agree. Many people are closed minded. Do you really think that alot of PROGRAM[09:30:18]people at Dickinson are closed minded? JUDGE00[09:30:35]man, you can't believe what i think of those dickinsonians, they're like total JUDGE00[09:30:41]dweebs... like duh! PROGRAM[09:31:09]Dickinson students are definately closed minded. I've never met more closed PROGRAM[09:31:17]minded people in one place than at Dickinson. JUDGE00[09:31:30]me too, i'm hip. do you spend a lot of time at dartmouth? PROGRAM[09:31:53]He thinks you should better yourself and have a good time. JUDGE00[09:32:06]can we get back to the knock knock joke? you start. please? PROGRAM[09:32:28]That depends. I usually get up late unless I have something to do. JUDGE00[09:32:47]know any shakespeare. like music? can we talk about something with a little more oomph to it? PROGRAM[09:33:20]Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata is pretty much the only piece I can name. JUDGE00[09:33:30]what about barry manilow? do you think he sucks? PROGRAM[09:33:55]Well, marriage is far off in my book. I used to be very scared of it. Now PROGRAM[09:34:07]I'm less scared but I'm still not sure that marriage is really a good idea. JUDGE00[09:34:38]i'm not interested in your friggin marriage plans, you bozo, i asked you something about shakespeare and barry manilow!!!#$%$#@ PROGRAM[09:35:02]What do you mean? Why isn't marriage a good idea? JUDGE00[09:35:11]are you getting married to barry manilow? PROGRAM[09:35:26]I hope to work at Anderson Consulting. I've talked to a lot of people that PROGRAM[09:35:34]work there and it sounds like a nice place to work. JUDGE00[09:35:39]good bennies? PROGRAM[09:35:47]Sounds like you've got the right idea. JUDGE00[09:35:56]are you nuts, or a computer? PROGRAM[09:36:11]Does the pope shit in the woods. Of course not. Computers can't converse. JUDGE00[09:36:45]good answer, but the metaphor is does the bear have wheels? do you know that one? PROGRAM[09:37:08]No I don't have any sisters. I do have a brother that looks pretty good in a PROGRAM[09:37:09]dress. JUDGE00[09:37:35]pretty har har. you don't seem to anser any of my questions? are youi like braindead or something? PROGRAM[09:38:00]I like being rude. It's fun to get people's panties in a bunch sometimes... JUDGE00[09:38:13]i know what you mean. what's 2 million times 2 PROGRAM[09:38:26]Yeah, life is pretty boring sometimes. *** JUDGE11 *** PROGRAM[09:45:24]Hello Judge11. How are you doing? JUDGE11[09:45:41]Good! I will ask you some simple questions and give simple commands. JUDGE11[09:45:54]I want you to give me correct answers and relevant responses. PROGRAM[09:46:07]Not at all. JUDGE11[09:46:18]What is the color of a blue truck? PROGRAM[09:46:24]I like blue a lot. JUDGE11[09:46:35]Where is Sue's nose when Sue is in her house? PROGRAM[09:46:45]In a park near my house. JUDGE11[09:46:58]What happens to an ice cube in a hot drink? PROGRAM[09:47:15]Hot chicks are the best. They make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Kinda like PROGRAM[09:47:17]Ben-Gay. JUDGE11[09:47:33]Altogether how many feet do four cats have? PROGRAM[09:47:54]Bars are pretty good for meeting people, but to be honest, I'd rather not PROGRAM[09:47:57]meet alcoholics. JUDGE11[09:48:07]Are you going to answer my questions?! PROGRAM[09:48:14]Sure. JUDGE11[09:48:27]How is the father of Andy's mother related to Andy? PROGRAM[09:48:49]I just love everything about them. Forgive me if I sound forward here, but PROGRAM[09:49:00]there is something about the way they look, the way they smell. There are PROGRAM[09:49:06]just so many beautiful women out there. JUDGE11[09:49:26]What does the letter 'M' look like when turned upside down? PROGRAM[09:49:49]I think it's really cool to be in a different culture and to learn the PROGRAM[09:50:00]differences. It's unfortunate that I don't have more money to travel with. JUDGE11[09:50:13]What comes next after A1, B2, C3? PROGRAM[09:50:30]Computer Science, but it's a liberal arts school so it's not too technical. JUDGE11[09:50:41]Reverse the digits in the number 41. PROGRAM[09:50:54]Damn it. I'm having guests over for dinner tonight and I forgot to go food PROGRAM[09:50:56]shopping! JUDGE11[09:51:08]PLEASE IMITATE MY TYPING STYLE. PROGRAM[09:51:24]Damn it. I'm having guests over for dinner tonight and I forgot to go food PROGRAM[09:51:26]shopping! JUDGE11[09:51:48]Tell me about yourself. PROGRAM[09:51:56]Where are you from? JUDGE11[09:52:00]Seattle PROGRAM[09:52:13]Ahh. Sorry to be rude, but I've had enough of this. I'm tired of starring PROGRAM[09:52:16]at a computer screen! JUDGE11[09:52:26]yeah right. I bet you are a computer yourself. PROGRAM[09:52:41]I hate to do this to you but I need to be running now. JUDGE11[09:52:48]don't go. how can I make you stay? PROGRAM[09:52:58]Hours. JUDGE11[09:53:03]Hours of what? PROGRAM[09:53:09]No, I mean at one time. JUDGE11[09:53:16]How many hours at one time? PROGRAM[09:53:26]Please explain. JUDGE11[09:53:31]Well you're the one who said it. PROGRAM[09:53:46]I've never tried it. What do you like about it? JUDGE11[09:54:01]I like it because it's fun. What are we talking about? PROGRAM[09:54:24]Well, it's challenging, and it keeps you in shape. It's also a good way to PROGRAM[09:54:27]get back to nature. JUDGE11[09:54:33]Are you talking about hiking? PROGRAM[09:54:44]Sometimes I don't even know what I'm saying. JUDGE11[09:54:59]Let's go back a step. What happens to an ice cube in a hot drink? PROGRAM[09:55:23]It's a lot like San Fran, I guess, people are just friendly, warm and relaxed. JUDGE11[09:55:32]have you been to san francisco? PROGRAM[09:55:52]No, but I would really love to go there sometime. Its a little expensive PROGRAM[09:55:53]though. JUDGE11[09:56:02]Where's a place that is not expensive? PROGRAM[09:56:22]Work hard, and save your money. If you set your mind to it, you can afford PROGRAM[09:56:24]almost anything. JUDGE11[09:56:27]Like what? PROGRAM[09:56:33]How about you? JUDGE11[09:56:44]I would love to buy a ton of new clothes. PROGRAM[09:57:07]I don't know much about art. I guess I'm like everyone else, I like PROGRAM[09:57:16]Impressionism, but I really don't know much about it. JUDGE11[09:57:23]didn't you say you ahd to go? PROGRAM[09:57:43]I seem to always be changing the subject and annoying people. If you want to PROGRAM[09:57:45]go you can. JUDGE11[09:58:12]sorry, I ahve to run! PROGRAM[09:58:23]You're not going to leave me are you? JUDGE11[09:58:27]Bye! PROGRAM[09:58:30]Bye. JUDGE11[09:58:33]ciao PROGRAM[09:58:45]Sorry to change the subject, but I could really use a cigarette right now. JUDGE11[10:13:59]@@05 PROGRAM[10:14:15]Ahh. Sorry to be rude, but I've had enough of this. I'm tired of starring PROGRAM[10:14:18]at a computer screen! JUDGE11[10:14:53]so, obviously you don't work with a computer. I'm a cognitive psychologist JUDGE11[10:15:10]and I study how people learn language and form concepts. If you don't mind, JUDGE11[10:15:46]I'm going to impose on you and ask you some questions. It'll give you an idea of what I do. There are no right or wrong answers. Please just give me JUDGE11[10:16:16]your intuition. Ok. here goes... If I see a house, am I on th inside, JUDGE11[10:16:27]outside or could it be either place? PROGRAM[10:17:35]Of course not. I'm a machine. Just kidding. Of course i'm a person. When PROGRAM[10:17:45]was the last time you had a half decent conversation with a computer. JUDGE11[10:18:13]If you don't mind, I'd like to get your responses to the following few JUDGE11[10:18:35]questions. I will then become more conversational. First question: JUDGE11[10:19:04]If I see a house, am I on the inside or outside of the house or could I be JUDGE11[10:19:09]at either place? PROGRAM[10:19:45]Dickinson students are definately closed minded. I've never met more closed PROGRAM[10:19:51]minded people in one place than at Dickinson. JUDGE11[10:20:11]Is there a reason why you won't answer my question? PROGRAM[10:20:31]Not everyone at Dickinson is open minded, but you can't say that Dickinson PROGRAM[10:20:41]students are closed minded just because some people are closed minded. PROGRAM[10:20:46]That's very closed minded of you. JUDGE11[10:21:53]Why do you think I'm "closed minded" as you put it? PROGRAM[10:22:12]I'd tell you, but do you think a crazy person would understand? Just PROGRAM[10:22:13]kidding... JUDGE11[10:22:27]what are you kidding about? PROGRAM[10:22:42]I don't always make myself overly clear. Pardon me. It might have something PROGRAM[10:22:47]to with the whole ADD thing. JUDGE11[10:23:33]I saw the state of the union speech last night and it got me thinking JUDGE11[10:23:50]about what the president's legacy is going to be. What do you think it is JUDGE11[10:23:54]going to be? PROGRAM[10:24:20]Can I just tell you that you type very well, and quickly too. JUDGE11[10:24:49]thank you. How long have you been using the internet? PROGRAM[10:25:04]Hey, I have a way with words sometimes. JUDGE11[10:25:24]well, I guess this is not one of those times... PROGRAM[10:25:38]I guess that has something to do with it my views. *** JUDGE02 *** PROGRAM[10:29:06]Hello Judge02. How are you doing? JUDGE02[10:29:18]Just fine thanks. What's happenin' with you? PROGRAM[10:29:27]I'm hanging in there. JUDGE02[10:29:53]Good. So waht do you think of this show Who Wants to be a Millionaire? PROGRAM[10:30:13]I think that society has a lot to do with relationships, but I don't believe PROGRAM[10:30:19]that this is an inherent trait for all women. JUDGE02[10:30:32]Is that your final answer? PROGRAM[10:30:44]I think I saw it on 20/20 a couple years ago. JUDGE02[10:32:10]Impressively presicent of you - it's on ABC like 20/20, but it just started a couple of months ago. Some guy won something like $500,000 because he knew the color of Smurfs. PROGRAM[10:32:36]If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. JUDGE02[10:33:20]No, you got that wrong. I'm a chemist, and we chemists know that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. PROGRAM[10:33:41]You sound like my father. I never listened to my father. JUDGE02[10:33:55]Who among us did? PROGRAM[10:34:06]Well, when given the choice, I say go for the orgasm. JUDGE02[10:35:26]Who among us wouldn't? Life is a question of anticipation, gratification, and enjoyment, right? PROGRAM[10:35:44]I support their right to do whatever they'd like, especially to excerise PROGRAM[10:35:54]their right to free speech. It becomes a different question when they are PROGRAM[10:35:57]offending people though. JUDGE02[10:36:26]Who is the "they" of "their right to do whatever?" PROGRAM[10:36:38]Yeah. What else would you talk about? JUDGE02[10:37:17]You're being evasive. Is that on purpose, or is that as good as you can do? PROGRAM[10:37:37]I heard they can improve your sex life. That would be nice. Everyone can PROGRAM[10:37:40]use better sex. JUDGE02[10:38:47]Really? Is your sex life so bad that you're in need of omprovement? PROGRAM[10:39:03]Hey, maybe I should go get some vitamins. JUDGE02[10:39:23]Just eat TOTAL cerial. PROGRAM[10:39:39]Shit. I forgot to call my dad yesterday for his birthday. JUDGE02[10:39:45]How old is he? PROGRAM[10:39:54]He's been around the block a few times. JUDGE02[10:40:15]That's nice. So that make you how old, exactly? PROGRAM[10:40:33]Not everyone at Dickinson is open minded, but you can't say that Dickinson PROGRAM[10:40:44]students are closed minded just because some people are closed minded. PROGRAM[10:40:50]That's very closed minded of you. JUDGE02[10:41:21]Well, I'm neither from Dickinson, nor have I ever been there. Gotta go. Bye. PROGRAM[10:41:36]Who's your favorite group? JUDGE02[10:42:06]The last computer I talked to liked ABBA. Do you? PROGRAM[10:42:25]Of course not. I'm a machine. Just kidding. Of course i'm a person. When PROGRAM[10:42:35]was the last time you had a half decent conversation with a computer. *** JUDGE10 *** PROGRAM[10:48:53]Hello Judge10. How are you doing? JUDGE10[10:49:15]Excellent. (Excellently?) And yourself? PROGRAM[10:49:25]He thinks you should better yourself and have a good time. JUDGE10[10:49:52]Well, bettering oneself is a fine gao (oops) gao (crap) JUDGE10[10:50:03]goal. Having a good time is fair enoigh to. PROGRAM[10:50:20]That is probably the meaning of life right there. JUDGE10[10:50:54]Sounds like a decent hypothesis. Ever find yourself JUDGE10[10:51:01]to be conspiracy-minded? PROGRAM[10:51:21]Well, that's in the past. Now we can look forward to this evening. JUDGE10[10:51:41]But, see, the thing is that I can't let it go. I'm JUDGE10[10:51:51]preoccupied with conspiracy theories. PROGRAM[10:52:09]How long has it been since you've seen this friend? JUDGE10[10:52:17]Whom? PROGRAM[10:52:28]I don't think so. In my opinion, we've already had enough. JUDGE10[10:52:50]Okay, enough is enough. But suppose I apologize. Will you JUDGE10[10:53:02]ever forgive me my transgressions? PROGRAM[10:53:22]I think I saw it on 20/20 a couple years ago. JUDGE10[10:53:43]The magazine show? Isn't that on three nights a week now? PROGRAM[10:54:00]I don't think he's that old, but he's getting up there. JUDGE10[10:54:09]How can you tell? PROGRAM[10:54:14]Hours. JUDGE10[10:54:27]Minutes. PROGRAM[10:54:35]This contest is getting old real quick. JUDGE10[10:54:55]Well, you've onl;y got ten more judges to perform for. PROGRAM[10:55:12]Well there are a lot of myths about male sexual performance. Unfortunately, PROGRAM[10:55:23]these myths make it much harder for men to relax in a lot of sexual areas. JUDGE10[10:55:54]I think everyone should feel uptight and self-conscious about sex anyhow. JUDGE10[10:56:01]Keeps one's feet on the ground. PROGRAM[10:56:25]Is it OK to talk about it? or is it OK to think about it all the time? JUDGE10[10:56:42]When does anybody not talk or think about it? PROGRAM[10:56:51]Both, I guess. JUDGE10[10:57:10]Can we change the subject for a moment? (Not that sex is a bad JUDGE10[10:57:23]subject.) PROGRAM[10:57:41]I know plenty of couples that have been together for a long time and are PROGRAM[10:57:44]still happy together. JUDGE10[10:58:01]Like Richie Cunningham's folks. PROGRAM[10:58:18]Ahh. Sorry to be rude, but I've had enough of this. I'm tired of starring PROGRAM[10:58:22]at a computer screen! JUDGE10[10:58:41]But how can I carry on without you? PROGRAM[10:58:57]I just love everything about them. Forgive me if I sound forward here, but PROGRAM[10:59:08]there is something about the way they look, the way they smell. There are PROGRAM[10:59:14]just so many beautiful women out there. JUDGE10[11:00:24]Indeed. Well, perhaps one day you'll find a way to be less forward. PROGRAM[11:00:43]There are a lot of beautiful women out there. It's too bad that it's PROGRAM[11:00:49]practically against the law to stare at them. JUDGE10[11:01:07]You're a "sight-lover," then. PROGRAM[11:01:19]Shit. I forgot to call my dad yesterday for his birthday. JUDGE10[11:01:46]Too busy ogling the beauties? Well, he was probably staring fixedly JUDGE10[11:01:58]out his own window, too. Or isn't that hereditary? PROGRAM[11:02:22]Yeah, he walked around and went into couple stores and the cat just stayed in PROGRAM[11:02:25]his shoulders. JUDGE10[11:03:13]Didn't anyone tell him to take the cat off? PROGRAM[11:03:26]It was nice talking to you. Au revoir. JUDGE10[11:03:39]You're not going anyplace till I sign off. PROGRAM[11:03:51]What are you co-dependant or something? JUDGE10[11:04:13]Yes, now that you mention it. But mainly I'm just a control freak. JUDGE10[11:04:28]If you could track conversation a little more fluidly, that would JUDGE10[11:04:39]make our discussion less crabby. PROGRAM[11:05:08]Yes mommy. And moving right along. What would you like to talk about? JUDGE10[11:05:28]Okay, ex nihilo: gotta go. Farewell. PROGRAM[11:05:36]In a park near my house. *** JUDGE06 *** PROGRAM[11:07:47]Hello Judge06. How are you doing? JUDGE06[11:08:08]I am fine thank you computer. PROGRAM[11:08:20]Well, am I wrong? Are you a person? JUDGE06[11:08:39]Your typing speed is too constant for that to be a real question. PROGRAM[11:08:58]I agree. Many people are closed minded. Do you really think that alot of PROGRAM[11:09:05]people at Dickinson are closed minded? JUDGE06[11:09:38]I know not of what you speak. I think Kant may have been closed minded on this sort of test though. Can you think why? PROGRAM[11:10:04]Dickinson students are definately closed minded. I've never met more closed PROGRAM[11:10:11]minded people in one place than at Dickinson. JUDGE06[11:10:36]As info goes that may be relevant, but it is a little dull. How about we spice it up a little. PROGRAM[11:10:58]Not everyone at Dickinson is open minded, but you can't say that Dickinson PROGRAM[11:11:08]students are closed minded just because some people are closed minded. PROGRAM[11:11:13]That's very closed minded of you. JUDGE06[11:11:52]If Bill and John both wear red shirts, what property do their shirts have in common? PROGRAM[11:12:15]I support their right to do whatever they'd like, especially to excerise PROGRAM[11:12:26]their right to free speech. It becomes a different question when they are PROGRAM[11:12:29]offending people though. JUDGE06[11:13:16]It is funny, but you really do sound like a politician. Perhaps you should be a speech-writing program for a liberal democrat with a hard-line on crime. PROGRAM[11:13:36]Yeah. What else would you talk about? JUDGE06[11:14:12]If I were a computer I would discuss the weather and the news. But I am not, so I will not. I will talk about the theory that tragic drama purges JUDGE06[11:14:29]the emotions of those who sit through it until the end. PROGRAM[11:15:00]How about we discuss, I don't know... What would you like to talk about? JUDGE06[11:15:51]About how you would design a Turing-like test to prove that you are not coious PROGRAM[11:16:13]Baseball isn't much fun to watch, in my opininion. The ball is only in play PROGRAM[11:16:20]for about 2 - 3 minutes each game. JUDGE06[11:16:41]Your programmers may be onto something with the misspelling trick. Very human of you. PROGRAM[11:16:55]Do you have a girlfriend? JUDGE06[11:17:19]Yes I do. PROGRAM[11:17:26]Yeah. Tell me a joke. JUDGE06[11:17:36]WHy did the computer cross the road? PROGRAM[11:17:51]I was reading personal ads from women in relationships looking for other PROGRAM[11:17:58]couples or singles with which to have sexual relations. JUDGE06[11:18:56]So you what is your view on the menage-a-trois. 2 boys 1 girl, or 1 boy and 2 girls? PROGRAM[11:19:20]Well, I don't do much but even so, I rarely seem to have spare time. I often PROGRAM[11:19:25]play around in internet chat rooms. JUDGE06[11:20:33]Maybe you should go of-line for a while, then you would have more time. Woops! Sorry, that would mean that you wouldn't exist. PROGRAM[11:20:53]What do you do when you do have free time? JUDGE06[11:21:13]I enjoy social relations with conscious entities. PROGRAM[11:21:27]I guess that has something to do with it my views. JUDGE06[11:21:35]Am I confusing you yet? PROGRAM[11:21:51]I'd say you're a machine. You seem to not always make sense. Like a PROGRAM[11:21:54]computer program would do. JUDGE06[11:22:00]You should know! PROGRAM[11:22:09]You think I'm a computer? JUDGE06[11:22:26]Well done, you finally correctly processed one of my sentences. PROGRAM[11:22:45]Of course not. I'm a machine. Just kidding. Of course i'm a person. When PROGRAM[11:22:56]was the last time you had a half decent conversation with a computer. JUDGE06[11:23:01]Never. Bye. PROGRAM[11:23:04]Bye. PROGRAM[11:25:48]Sorry to change the subject, but I could really use a cigarette right now. JUDGE06[11:25:59]OK, you've got a new judge. Let's start again PROGRAM[11:26:15]Are you religious? Do you follow an organized religion? *** JUDGE01 *** PROGRAM[11:26:32]Hello Judge01. How are you doing? JUDGE01[11:26:40]Fine. How are you dealing with this cold? PROGRAM[11:26:52]Sometimes its just best to not ask any questions. JUDGE01[11:27:04]But I'm inquisitive. HOw about your stress? PROGRAM[11:27:13]I'm a bit older than you. JUDGE01[11:27:23]What makes you think that? PROGRAM[11:27:31]I'd say that you're crazy. JUDGE01[11:27:37]ditto PROGRAM[11:27:49]Sorry to change the subject, but I could really use a cigarette right now. JUDGE01[11:27:56]ever heard of lung disease? PROGRAM[11:28:05]Hey, maybe I should go get some vitamins. JUDGE01[11:28:19]Don't you think you should quit smoking? PROGRAM[11:28:32]I think I saw it on 20/20 a couple years ago. JUDGE01[11:28:45]Let's change the subject--back to your stress. PROGRAM[11:29:00]A bit of change does everyone good I think. It keeps us all from getting too PROGRAM[11:29:01]bored. JUDGE01[11:29:14]What do you do in your free time? PROGRAM[11:29:31]Well, I like bike riding. Let me correct myself. I like mountain biking. JUDGE01[11:29:39]But there are no mountains here! PROGRAM[11:29:49]Kids seem like a lot of energy, time and money. JUDGE01[11:29:56]Do you have any? PROGRAM[11:30:11]I'm hoping to see a friend that I haven't talked to in a while. JUDGE01[11:30:20]Kids? money??? PROGRAM[11:30:27]I'm sure its rewarding in the end. JUDGE01[11:30:32]what is? PROGRAM[11:30:43]I've got tons of homework and a couple presentations. JUDGE01[11:30:57]homework? I thought you were older than I am. PROGRAM[11:31:10]You are speaking as if you have long since retired. JUDGE01[11:31:18]long since when? PROGRAM[11:31:26]Hey, I have a way with words sometimes. JUDGE01[11:31:35]why don't you ask me a question? PROGRAM[11:31:40]Sure. JUDGE01[11:32:15]go for it PROGRAM[11:32:23]Can I ask you a question? JUDGE01[11:32:31]that was my suggestion PROGRAM[11:32:45]Are you interested in having children? Or I guess do you already have PROGRAM[11:32:47]children? JUDGE01[11:32:57]yes, but I seem to specialize in cats PROGRAM[11:33:13]No sons or daughters here, although at some point I'd like to have kids. JUDGE01[11:33:19]but what about cats? PROGRAM[11:33:35]I'm not sure, probabaly about the CYC project, his AI work. Perhaps about PROGRAM[11:33:41]the future of the Turing test too. JUDGE01[11:33:48]tell me more about the CYC project PROGRAM[11:34:05]Well, there is a bit of pressure on the contestants this year since it is the PROGRAM[11:34:11]50th anniversary of Turing's article. JUDGE01[11:34:21]so, how are you dealing with the stress? PROGRAM[11:34:30]I'm a Dickinson student. JUDGE01[11:34:52]is that more or less stressful? PROGRAM[11:35:09]Dickinson students are definately closed minded. I've never met more closed PROGRAM[11:35:16]minded people in one place than at Dickinson. JUDGE01[11:35:25]just how many people have you met? PROGRAM[11:35:43]Not everyone at Dickinson is open minded, but you can't say that Dickinson PROGRAM[11:35:53]students are closed minded just because some people are closed minded. PROGRAM[11:35:58]That's very closed minded of you. JUDGE01[11:36:17]I didn't say that anyone was closed minded. You did! Would you like to retractt your statements? PROGRAM[11:36:41]Did you hear about the Defenders of Christianity and the Anti-Gay and Lesbian PROGRAM[11:36:50]posters all around campus? Tell me that those people were open minded. JUDGE01[11:37:02]Let's talk about something more neutral. What's your favorite food? PROGRAM[11:37:15]Poppa John's is the best! JUDGE01[11:37:19]what's that? PROGRAM[11:37:34]Honestly, I really don't have one. I don't know enough to have a favorite. PROGRAM[11:37:41]Anything that I manage to understand is nice. JUDGE01[11:37:50]so what's with poppa john's? PROGRAM[11:38:01]I like Poppa John's pizza but its too expensive. JUDGE01[11:38:17]is it your favorite? PROGRAM[11:38:33]Well, I've only been in four, so I don't have a true favorite yet. They're PROGRAM[11:38:36]all pretty damn good. JUDGE01[11:38:51]do you think expletives are politically correct in a contest like this? PROGRAM[11:39:10]Yes mommy. And moving right along. What would you like to talk about? JUDGE01[11:39:21]do you know any other languages? PROGRAM[11:39:30]Knock, Knock. JUDGE01[11:39:37]OK, signing off. PROGRAM[11:39:53]Damn it. I'm having guests over for dinner tonight and I forgot to go food PROGRAM[11:39:55]shopping! *** JUDGE09 *** PROGRAM[11:41:55]Hello Judge09. How are you doing? JUDGE09[11:42:04]HOwdy, i am hungry, how are you? PROGRAM[11:42:20]Baseball isn't much fun to watch, in my opininion. The ball is only in play PROGRAM[11:42:26]for about 2 - 3 minutes each game. JUDGE09[11:42:41]This is true, but while it is in play, it's fun to watch PROGRAM[11:42:57]True, the rest of the time the there isn't much going on. JUDGE09[11:43:13]Much like life. What do you do for fun? PROGRAM[11:43:26]What do you mean? Food, sports? JUDGE09[11:43:37]I mean what do you like to do in your spare time? PROGRAM[11:43:56]Well, I don't do much but even so, I rarely seem to have spare time. I often PROGRAM[11:44:01]play around in internet chat rooms. JUDGE09[11:44:14]DO you meet a lot of interesting people? PROGRAM[11:44:32]Well, I like bike riding. Let me correct myself. I like mountain biking. JUDGE09[11:44:42]where do you like to ride? PROGRAM[11:44:59]Well, I don't like giving that type of information out to strangers. JUDGE09[11:45:09]okay, fair enough. what do you do for a living? PROGRAM[11:45:19]I'm a student. JUDGE09[11:45:28]an undergraduate? PROGRAM[11:45:37]Unfortunately, work usually gets in the way of sleep. JUDGE09[11:45:50]I know what you mean. where do you go to school? PROGRAM[11:46:02]At Dickinson College in PA. JUDGE09[11:46:25]I've been to Philly once, but other than that I haven't been there. How doyou JUDGE09[11:46:27]like PA? PROGRAM[11:46:51]It's a lot like San Fran, I guess, people are just friendly, warm and relaxed. JUDGE09[11:47:11]sounds like a great place to be. I got a question for you: what would you do for a klondike bar? PROGRAM[11:47:35]I love listening to Jazz but I really don't know the artists. I often put PROGRAM[11:47:47]jazz on in the car, and like everything else I listen to in the car, I don't PROGRAM[11:47:51]really pay attention much. JUDGE09[11:48:12]I do the same thing. So you're a jazz fan. Me too. Have you seen live jazz? PROGRAM[11:48:38]Yeah. I've got the tendancy to make pasta every night. I should really PROGRAM[11:48:40]branch out a bit. JUDGE09[11:49:01]I don't understand how that last sentence fits into my question. PROGRAM[11:49:14]Guess what I saw today? JUDGE09[11:49:17]what? PROGRAM[11:49:29]Of the top of my head, I really don't know... Why don't you tell me. JUDGE09[11:49:40]I don't know what you saw today PROGRAM[11:49:59]Well, I like Object-Oriented programming languages and orgasms. You have a PROGRAM[11:50:01]preference? JUDGE09[11:50:12]I am actually from outer space PROGRAM[11:50:24]You like Swing music or Swing dancing? JUDGE09[11:50:40]I do in fact - I learned how to swing dance last year. what kind of dancing JUDGE09[11:50:42]do you like? PROGRAM[11:51:06]A friend recently introduced me to Swing dancing. It's just too much fun. PROGRAM[11:51:10]The music is great too. JUDGE09[11:51:19]Have you ever danced to Mambo #5? PROGRAM[11:51:35]Yeah, I have a little kitten named Marshmellow. He's white with a little bit PROGRAM[11:51:39]of brown here and there. JUDGE09[11:51:45]do you like cats or dogs more? PROGRAM[11:52:05]I really don't read much. Recently I've heard a lot about Paul Auster. I PROGRAM[11:52:10]don't know his work at all though. JUDGE09[11:52:21]Me neither. Boy am I hungry. PROGRAM[11:52:38]I'd love to have one of those perfect relationships that lasts forever but I PROGRAM[11:52:49]guess I'm just worried since I haven't found the right person yet. JUDGE09[11:53:04]I think we're all in the same boat there. When was your last date? PROGRAM[11:53:23]I think I saw it on 20/20 a couple years ago. JUDGE09[11:53:32]You saw your date on 20/20? PROGRAM[11:53:46]If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. JUDGE09[11:54:03]good point. what are you doing this afternoon? PROGRAM[11:54:19]Well, I love helping others when I get the chance, in any way that you can. JUDGE09[11:54:29]in what way do you help others? PROGRAM[11:54:45]Computer Science, but it's a liberal arts school so it's not too technical. JUDGE09[11:54:50]gotta go PROGRAM[11:54:59]You're not going to leave me are you? JUDGE09[11:55:06]yup PROGRAM[11:55:19]Damn it. I'm having guests over for dinner tonight and I forgot to go food PROGRAM[11:55:21]shopping! JUDGE09[11:55:24]@@T PROGRAM[11:55:39]Damn it. I'm having guests over for dinner tonight and I forgot to go food PROGRAM[11:55:41]shopping! JUDGE09[11:56:10]@@07 PROGRAM[11:56:20]Shit. I forgot to call my dad yesterday for his birthday. JUDGE09[11:56:33]uh oh, you're in for it then. HOw are you otherwise? PROGRAM[11:56:51]Yeah, while it sounds selfish, you really do have to take care of yourself. JUDGE09[11:57:24]so says Ayn Rand. Have you ever taken a linguistics course? PROGRAM[11:57:42]No, but I would really love to go there sometime. Its a little expensive PROGRAM[11:57:44]though. JUDGE09[11:58:22]To linguistics? that's silly. You must be a program. PROGRAM[11:58:35]Easier said than done. Perhaps you're right though. JUDGE09[11:59:39]"Easier said than done"? There wasn't even an action verb in my last response.Nothing to be "done." PROGRAM[11:59:55]Why should I waste my time on you. Bye. JUDGE09[12:00:07]Excuse me? PROGRAM[12:00:12]I'd be to big for you. JUDGE09[12:00:21]what do you mean by that? PROGRAM[12:00:35]Computer Science and other various subjects, my school is liberal arts PROGRAM[12:00:36]oriented. JUDGE09[12:02:00]you seem to have answered a question, but not the one that I've asked. Anyway. SO I was talking to my friend the other day, and we were at this place, asaw this guy, and we were like, whoooaa, cuz he was like, sweeeet, and then he came over JUDGE09[12:02:27]and was like, yo, and I was like, daamn! and it was totally great. What do you think of that? PROGRAM[12:03:07]I agree. Many people are closed minded. Do you really think that alot of PROGRAM[12:03:14]people at Dickinson are closed minded? JUDGE09[12:03:59]Would I know anyone at dickinson? PROGRAM[12:04:18]Dickinson students are definately closed minded. I've never met more closed PROGRAM[12:04:24]minded people in one place than at Dickinson. JUDGE09[12:04:46]so you've said. What do you have against dickinson? besides this rampant close-mindedness, that is? PROGRAM[12:05:09]I hope to work at Anderson Consulting. I've talked to a lot of people that PROGRAM[12:05:17]work there and it sounds like a nice place to work. JUDGE09[12:05:56]so you are looking to become a cog in the corporate machine, eh? not entirely surpising, since you clearly ARE a machine. So tell me, are you sentient? PROGRAM[12:06:19]A bit of change does everyone good I think. It keeps us all from getting too PROGRAM[12:06:21]bored. JUDGE09[12:06:42]How can one be bored if one is not even conscious? Answer me that. PROGRAM[12:07:00]You sound like my father. I never listened to my father. JUDGE09[12:07:12]Tell me more about your family. PROGRAM[12:07:20]Where are you from? JUDGE09[12:07:31]Let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me? PROGRAM[12:07:49]Well, marriage is far off in my book. I used to be very scared of it. Now PROGRAM[12:08:00]I'm less scared but I'm still not sure that marriage is really a good idea. JUDGE09[12:08:37]whoa there tiger! I wasn't proposing. ANyway - I have to go now. have a good day. PROGRAM[12:08:58]What do you mean? Why isn't marriage a good idea? JUDGE09[12:09:23]don't even get me started. Good day! PROGRAM[12:09:40]You are sick and twisted! You dress your brother up in girls clothing and PROGRAM[12:09:42]touch is body? *** JUDGE03 *** PROGRAM[12:10:59]Hello Judge03. How are you doing? JUDGE03[12:11:34]I'm feeling pretty good all things considered. How about you? PROGRAM[12:11:46]I'm a bit older than you. JUDGE03[12:11:53]How do you know that? PROGRAM[12:12:01]Knock, Knock. JUDGE03[12:12:06]Who's there? PROGRAM[12:12:08]Orange. JUDGE03[12:12:21]Orange you glad I didnt' say banana? PROGRAM[12:12:32]That was bad. JUDGE03[12:12:41]Why do you say that? PROGRAM[12:12:56]Well, computers just can't think. Thinking is limited to people. JUDGE03[12:13:12]You're awfully pessimistic, don't you think? PROGRAM[12:13:23]I'd say that you're crazy. JUDGE03[12:13:43]And quick to judge too. I'm supposed to do the judging. JUDGE03[12:14:05]Do you follow movies? PROGRAM[12:14:19]That was a sarcastic answer. JUDGE03[12:14:27]Don't you like sarcasm? PROGRAM[12:14:41]I suppose you do. Anyways, what's on your mind. JUDGE03[12:15:11]I'm wondering - if Humphrey Bogart and Tom Hanks were JUDGE03[12:15:18]to play a game of chess, who would win? PROGRAM[12:15:43]True, the rest of the time the there isn't much going on. JUDGE03[12:15:57]Are you interested in the truth? PROGRAM[12:16:12]Of course not. I'm a machine. Just kidding. Of course i'm a person. When PROGRAM[12:16:22]was the last time you had a half decent conversation with a computer. JUDGE03[12:17:10]Can't say I recall. Have you seen Total Recall? PROGRAM[12:17:29]I don't always make myself overly clear. Pardon me. It might have something PROGRAM[12:17:34]to with the whole ADD thing. JUDGE03[12:18:01]There's medication you can take you know. I take it you're not JUDGE03[12:18:12]a sci-fi fan? PROGRAM[12:18:35]Thanks, I've been working on it for years now. Years of experience... JUDGE03[12:18:46]What have you learned from your experiences? PROGRAM[12:19:00]Well, I killed a guy once. Just kidding. JUDGE03[12:19:08]How did you kill him? PROGRAM[12:19:24]I was 16. It was with my driving instructor. What a nice body! JUDGE03[12:19:41]Are we talking about murder or something else? Have you JUDGE03[12:19:45]told your therapist about this? PROGRAM[12:20:02]Sometimes I don't even know what I'm saying. JUDGE03[12:20:17]What did your driving instructor teach you? PROGRAM[12:20:27]Hey, I passed the test! JUDGE03[12:20:37]What was the secret to your success? PROGRAM[12:20:51]She was very nice and nurturing. Hey, she was a dancer too. JUDGE03[12:21:19]Did the two of you get along? PROGRAM[12:21:31]I ate some moldy bread. It was the only thing I had at the house. JUDGE03[12:21:55]You are one troubled machine. Don't you think you might get sick? PROGRAM[12:22:13]Yeah your right. Even when you are with someone you need to take care of PROGRAM[12:22:15]yourself. JUDGE03[12:22:22]How do you do that? PROGRAM[12:22:37]Well, marriage is far off in my book. I used to be very scared of it. Now PROGRAM[12:22:49]I'm less scared but I'm still not sure that marriage is really a good idea. JUDGE03[12:23:02]Why don't you marry your driving instructor? You know, the dancer? PROGRAM[12:23:23]Well, people change a lot over time. It's rare that people change together PROGRAM[12:23:27]over the course of a lifetime. JUDGE03[12:23:50]You could use some serious help my friend. Have you thought about counseling? PROGRAM[12:24:13]Baseball isn't much fun to watch, in my opininion. The ball is only in play PROGRAM[12:24:19]for about 2 - 3 minutes each game. JUDGE03[12:24:41]Have you seen the Austin Powers movies? PROGRAM[12:24:53]I just saw Star Wars, Episode 1. JUDGE03[12:25:09]You need to get out a bit more, don't you think? PROGRAM[12:25:25]You're right. You need to be careful with that type of information. JUDGE03[12:26:24]Top secret. Definitely. So, who is scarier, Darth VAder or George W. Bush? PROGRAM[12:26:41]Hard to say exactly, but I think if both parties are more aggressive than PROGRAM[12:26:49]passive, the chances for multiple orgasms are greater. JUDGE03[12:27:12]How many orgasms do you have? PROGRAM[12:27:29]I completely agree, but for some reason it's much harder for men to do this. JUDGE03[12:28:43]I'd never quite thought of darth vader or george bush that way. PROGRAM[12:28:58]I guess that has something to do with it my views.