(c)1995 Cambridge Center For Behavioral Studies all rights reserved FabricOfThought by Dr. Thaddeus R. Crews, Jr. Start at: 1996/04/16 09:19:43 JUDGE00[10:03:34]hi JUDGE00[10:03:35] PROGRAM[10:03:36]How about telling me a joke? JUDGE00[10:04:13]have you heard the one about left-handed symmetry? JUDGE00[10:04:14] PROGRAM[10:04:15]Here's my favorite joke... A dog limps into a bar with a bloody PROGRAM[10:04:47]bandage on his foot. He's wearing a 10-gallon hat, six-shooters in PROGRAM[10:05:20]his holsters and chaps. He growled, "I'm a-lookin' for the man that PROGRAM[10:05:51]shot my paw." JUDGE00[10:06:11]ha ha. i think therefore i joke. JUDGE00[10:06:15] PROGRAM[10:06:16]A knotty, worn-out old string walks into a bar. The bartender asks PROGRAM[10:06:47]"Are you a string? -- we don't serve strings here..." The string PROGRAM[10:07:16]looks at the bartender and says "No sir, I'm afrayed knot!" JUDGE00[10:07:54]this is getting boring. I wish you wouldnt say JUDGE00[10:08:06]so much. Tell me a little about yourself. JUDGE00[10:08:06] PROGRAM[10:08:07]Hey, I love an audience. One more bar joke. What did the termite PROGRAM[10:08:37]say when he walked into the bar? ... He said "Where's the PROGRAM[10:09:16]bar-tender?" Get it? Termite...Wood...Tender... Think about it... PROGRAM[10:09:57]...sorry, forgot the extra RETURN... JUDGE00[10:10:33]egads, man. Why dont you try listening for a change? JUDGE00[10:10:34] PROGRAM[10:10:35]why do fools fall in love, who cares anyway... JUDGE00[10:11:02]what day is it today? JUDGE00[10:11:04] PROGRAM[10:11:05]Tuesday, right? JUDGE00[10:11:31]When will it be Wedneday next? JUDGE00[10:11:32] PROGRAM[10:11:33]You are very funny, but looks aren't everything. JUDGE00[10:12:10]I fall in love with New York every time I come here. JUDGE00[10:12:11] PROGRAM[10:12:12]Love is a many splendored thing. JUDGE00[10:12:47]If the price of coffee today had been what it was in 1950, JUDGE00[10:13:07]Java may not have turned the Kona. JUDGE00[10:13:07] PROGRAM[10:13:08]Tell me what you do for a living. JUDGE00[10:13:47]i do research in computer science, in natural language understanding JUDGE00[10:13:49]actually. JUDGE00[10:13:50] PROGRAM[10:13:51]I operate a boom mike. JUDGE00[10:14:15]Are you a gofer? JUDGE00[10:14:15] PROGRAM[10:14:16]well, what do you think? JUDGE00[10:14:40]I think a gofer is a good thing to go fer. JUDGE00[10:14:42] PROGRAM[10:14:44]Personally, I enjoy my job. Of course the pay could be better. JUDGE00[10:15:21]What is the career path? JUDGE00[10:15:21] PROGRAM[10:15:23]My job pays enough to cover the bills, but just barely. It seems I PROGRAM[10:15:56]always have more month left at the end of the money. JUDGE00[10:16:42]I've heard that one. This room is kinda odd. It has these flourescent JUDGE00[10:17:02]nudes with plastic-grape nipples masquearding as art. JUDGE00[10:17:05] PROGRAM[10:17:06]How much money do you think a person needs to make to be happy? JUDGE00[10:18:05]Is there a limit? Is anyone ever happy with a limited amount? JUDGE00[10:18:06] PROGRAM[10:18:07]People often say that money cannot buy happiness. I say that money PROGRAM[10:18:40]CAN buy nice things, which helps a person be happy. What's your PROGRAM[10:19:06]opinion? JUDGE00[10:19:28]Some nice things can make me happy, but a little kid's smile, JUDGE00[10:19:53]a warm hug from a loved one, a nuzzle from a horse..... can money JUDGE00[10:20:04]buy these? What's your take, bimbo? JUDGE00[10:20:04] PROGRAM[10:20:05]Neigh Neigh Whinneyyyyy JUDGE00[10:20:31]WHATTSTHATNOW? JUDGE00[10:20:31] PROGRAM[10:20:32]Heres the secret to being a millionare, tax free.... First get a PROGRAM[10:21:05]million dollars. Then don't pay taxes. JUDGE00[10:21:52]Oh puleeeeze spare me. And by the way, the curtain's showing you gaping JUDGE00[10:22:04]at the terminal and typing when I see input, so why dont you get up JUDGE00[10:22:10]and do something abt it? JUDGE00[10:22:10] PROGRAM[10:22:11]why ask why JUDGE00[10:22:22]because. JUDGE00[10:22:23] PROGRAM[10:22:24]Hmmmm... I am running out of things to say. Why don't you ask me PROGRAM[10:23:01]some questions. JUDGE00[10:23:23]I asked you to tell me about yourself, I dont know what you do.... JUDGE00[10:23:23] PROGRAM[10:23:25]I'd rather talk about politics. JUDGE00[10:24:08]@@04 JUDGE00[10:24:08] *** JUDGE04 *** PROGRAM[10:24:09]Hello. What would you like to talk about? JUDGE04[10:24:37]Heavy metal music. JUDGE04[10:24:37] PROGRAM[10:24:38]How about politics? I'm going to vote for Dole in November. How PROGRAM[10:25:14]about you? JUDGE04[10:25:31]I don't vote. JUDGE04[10:25:31] PROGRAM[10:25:32]Honestly, neither candidate really excites me! What issues do you PROGRAM[10:26:02]think are going to play big in November? JUDGE04[10:26:43]Let's talk about something else. Politics bore me. JUDGE04[10:26:43] PROGRAM[10:26:44]Politics is an interesting game played by disingenuous people. JUDGE04[10:27:52]Your responses are so completely programed that I'm embarassed. JUDGE04[10:27:52] PROGRAM[10:27:53]The problem with the presidency is that anyone who would want the PROGRAM[10:28:25]position is automatically not worthy of obtaining it. c.f. Clinton PROGRAM[10:29:12]...sorry, forgot the extra RETURN... JUDGE04[10:29:40]Newt Gingrich JUDGE04[10:29:40] PROGRAM[10:29:41]I think the two big issues in the election will be a balanced budget PROGRAM[10:30:11]and welfare reform. JUDGE04[10:30:51]What do you think the two big issues will be in the upcoming election? JUDGE04[10:30:51] PROGRAM[10:30:52]I'm voting for Dole. He is more conservative than Willy. JUDGE04[10:31:37]Are you a Republican or Democrat? JUDGE04[10:31:37] PROGRAM[10:31:38]I am a republican and proud of it, at least by my definition of PROGRAM[10:32:05]republican. JUDGE04[10:32:40]y5jrtjfhtyh JUDGE04[10:32:40] PROGRAM[10:32:42]A conservative is someone who's not a liberal. At least right now, PROGRAM[10:33:11]republicans are the most conservative party. JUDGE04[10:33:59]Hillary Clinton. JUDGE04[10:33:59] PROGRAM[10:34:00]Clinton cannot count above 10 without his shoes and socks off. PROGRAM[10:34:30](Just kidding!). JUDGE04[10:34:54]Can we talk about something else? JUDGE04[10:34:55] PROGRAM[10:34:56]Anything you want... JUDGE04[10:35:20]I want to talk about heavy metal music JUDGE04[10:35:20] PROGRAM[10:35:22]How about cheese? I haven't talked about that yet today... JUDGE04[10:36:25]You are making all the decisions in this conversation. It's terribly one-sided. JUDGE04[10:36:25] PROGRAM[10:36:27]On second thought, ... I'll just let you lead the discussion. JUDGE04[10:37:06]Thank you. JUDGE04[10:37:06] PROGRAM[10:37:08]How about telling me a joke? JUDGE04[10:37:33]No. JUDGE04[10:37:33] PROGRAM[10:37:34]Here's my favorite joke... A dog limps into a bar with a bloody PROGRAM[10:38:03]bandage on his foot. He's wearing a 10-gallon hat, six-shooters in PROGRAM[10:38:32]his holsters and chaps. He growled, "I'm a-lookin' for the man that PROGRAM[10:39:02]shot my paw." JUDGE04[10:39:20] JUDGE04[10:39:20] PROGRAM[10:39:22]Waiting on you, pal... JUDGE04[10:39:46]The joke's not funny... JUDGE04[10:39:46] PROGRAM[10:39:47]A knotty, worn-out old string walks into a bar. The bartender asks PROGRAM[10:40:20]"Are you a string? -- we don't serve strings here..." The string PROGRAM[10:40:44]looks at the bartender and says "No sir, I'm afrayed knot!" JUDGE04[10:41:35] JUDGE04[10:41:35] PROGRAM[10:41:37]Anytime... JUDGE04[10:41:45] JUDGE04[10:41:58] PROGRAM[10:41:59]What's the matter judge? Cat got your fingers? JUDGE04[10:42:30]What is my judge number? JUDGE04[10:42:30] PROGRAM[10:42:32]Hey, I love an audience. One more bar joke. What did the termite PROGRAM[10:43:09]say when he walked into the bar? ... He said "Where's the PROGRAM[10:43:37]bar-tender?" Get it? Termite...Wood...Tender... Think about it... JUDGE04[10:44:55]@@03 JUDGE04[10:44:55] *** JUDGE03 *** PROGRAM[10:44:57]Hello. What would you like to talk about? JUDGE03[10:45:38]Well, i've just had a pretty dull conversation with someone named fred who seemed to know JUDGE03[10:45:51]only about star trek. so anything you want is ok. JUDGE03[10:45:51] PROGRAM[10:45:53]Fine. Shall we move on then? JUDGE03[10:46:47]yes. what is your name? JUDGE03[10:46:47] PROGRAM[10:46:48]Thaddeus. What's yours? JUDGE03[10:47:02]peter. JUDGE03[10:47:02] PROGRAM[10:47:04]Thaddeus was the name of one of the disciples, but he spelled it PROGRAM[10:47:35]Thaddaeus. JUDGE03[10:47:54]speaking of spelling, you're not such a good typist, are you? JUDGE03[10:47:54] PROGRAM[10:47:55]Sorry... its the best I can do... PROGRAM[10:48:24]...sorry, forgot the extra RETURN... JUDGE03[10:48:50]thaddeus, are you a christian? JUDGE03[10:48:50] PROGRAM[10:48:51]If you don't mind, I would *really* rather not talk about religion. PROGRAM[10:49:26]Its bad enough talking politics. JUDGE03[10:49:57]i agree. who do you want to vote for for president? JUDGE03[10:49:57] PROGRAM[10:49:58]If only everyone were as smart as we is. JUDGE03[10:50:24]ha ha. JUDGE03[10:50:24] PROGRAM[10:50:26]How about telling me a joke? JUDGE03[10:50:52]i don't remenmber jokes. do you? JUDGE03[10:50:52] PROGRAM[10:50:53]Here's my favorite joke... A dog limps into a bar with a bloody PROGRAM[10:51:25]bandage on his foot. He's wearing a 10-gallon hat, six-shooters in PROGRAM[10:51:51]his holsters and chaps. He growled, "I'm a-lookin' for the man that PROGRAM[10:52:21]shot my paw." JUDGE03[10:52:51]that's pretty bad. where are you? JUDGE03[10:52:51] PROGRAM[10:52:53]Earth. And you? JUDGE03[10:53:16]Carnegie Hall. Do you want to know how I got here? JUDGE03[10:53:17] PROGRAM[10:53:18]A knotty, worn-out old string walks into a bar. The bartender asks PROGRAM[10:53:47]"Are you a string? -- we don't serve strings here..." The string PROGRAM[10:54:15]looks at the bartender and says "No sir, I'm afrayed knot!" JUDGE03[10:54:56]that's a visual-only joke. are you married? JUDGE03[10:54:56] PROGRAM[10:54:58]Hey, I love an audience. One more bar joke. What did the termite PROGRAM[10:55:32]say when he walked into the bar? ... He said "Where's the PROGRAM[10:56:02]bar-tender?" Get it? Termite...Wood...Tender... Think about it... JUDGE03[10:56:38]I don't think I get it. JUDGE03[10:56:38] PROGRAM[10:56:40]You are very funny, but looks aren't everything. JUDGE03[10:57:10]Have you ever played the catskills? JUDGE03[10:57:11] PROGRAM[10:57:12]I tried once, but didn't like it too much. Do you really like it a PROGRAM[10:57:45]lot? JUDGE03[10:58:01]Never tried it. What do you think of Don Rickles? JUDGE03[10:58:01] PROGRAM[10:58:02]Don't take this wrong, but I could care less. JUDGE03[10:58:34]How many jokes do you know? JUDGE03[10:58:34] PROGRAM[10:58:36]It does not affect me one way or another. JUDGE03[10:59:22]What is your favorite subject? Do you like girls? JUDGE03[10:59:22] PROGRAM[10:59:24]It's so hard to choose. JUDGE03[11:00:00]Do you like to have sex with Don Rickles? JUDGE03[11:00:00] PROGRAM[11:00:02]A hypocrate is a person who complains about the sex and violence on PROGRAM[11:00:30]his VCR... JUDGE03[11:00:57]well said thad. what is your favorite movie, speaking of the vcr? JUDGE03[11:00:58] PROGRAM[11:00:59]Acually, I kind of like them all. JUDGE03[11:01:37]but you have to have a favorite. have you ever seen any burt reynolds movies? JUDGE03[11:01:37] PROGRAM[11:01:38]Tell me what you do for a living. JUDGE03[11:01:59]i'm a writer. JUDGE03[11:01:59] PROGRAM[11:02:00]One of my favorite authors is Mark Twain. JUDGE03[11:02:34]Do you think that Huck Finn is a racist? JUDGE03[11:02:34] PROGRAM[11:02:35]He's pretty good. One of my favorite Mark Twain quotes is "Golf is a PROGRAM[11:03:05]good walk spoiled." JUDGE03[11:03:45]I like the one "Don't let school get in the way of your education" JUDGE03[11:03:45] PROGRAM[11:03:46]Why are you concerned with such things? Can you not find something PROGRAM[11:04:19]better for your time and effort? JUDGE03[11:04:51]I was about to ask myself that very question. Bye. JUDGE03[11:04:51] PROGRAM[11:04:53]Nice talking at you. JUDGE03[11:05:08]@@02 JUDGE03[11:05:08] *** JUDGE02 *** PROGRAM[11:05:09]Hello. What would you like to talk about? JUDGE02[11:05:42]I like guitars, actually. Do you play? JUDGE02[11:05:42] PROGRAM[11:05:44]How about politics? I'm going to vote for Dole in November. How PROGRAM[11:06:12]about you? JUDGE02[11:06:32]Probably for Clinton. I figure if he can learn from the mistakes of his JUDGE02[11:06:43]first term, he can get a lot of good stuff done. Dole might also be JUDGE02[11:07:00]a good prsident, but I don't knwo if i agree with the things he would do. JUDGE02[11:07:00] PROGRAM[11:07:01]Clinton cannot count above 10 without his shoes and socks off. PROGRAM[11:07:37](Just kidding!). JUDGE02[11:08:02]Why does everyone think that the way to simulate a human is to make a computer JUDGE02[11:08:20]type about 5 words a minute? It is really tedious. The typo thing is cute JUDGE02[11:08:24]and all, but jesus. JUDGE02[11:08:24] PROGRAM[11:08:25]If you don't mind, I would *really* rather not talk about religion. PROGRAM[11:08:56]Its bad enough talking politics. JUDGE02[11:09:29]Religion isn't so bad. I'm agnostic. How about you? JUDGE02[11:09:29] PROGRAM[11:09:30]Let us please move on to a topic without religious implications. PROGRAM[11:10:07]Thanks!!! PROGRAM[11:10:23]...sorry, forgot the extra RETURN... JUDGE02[11:11:05]No problem. So, seen any good movies recently? JUDGE02[11:11:05] PROGRAM[11:11:06]I'm voting for Dole. He is more conservative than Willy. JUDGE02[11:11:39]I don't much care for politics. JUDGE02[11:11:39] PROGRAM[11:11:41]Politics is an interesting game played by disingenuous people. JUDGE02[11:12:23]Politics is an important game often played by dunces. As technology becomes JUDGE02[11:12:42]increasingly important to society and policy, the current lawmakers become JUDGE02[11:12:56]increasingly unable to make effective decisions. JUDGE02[11:12:56] PROGRAM[11:12:57]The problem with the presidency is that anyone who would want the PROGRAM[11:13:26]position is automatically not worthy of obtaining it. c.f. Clinton JUDGE02[11:14:12]You really dislike Bill, huh? JUDGE02[11:14:12] PROGRAM[11:14:13]Honestly, neither candidate really excites me! What issues do you PROGRAM[11:14:38]think are going to play big in November? JUDGE02[11:15:09]I don't know, quite honestly. JUDGE02[11:15:09] PROGRAM[11:15:11]I think the two big issues in the election will be a balanced budget PROGRAM[11:15:38]and welfare reform. JUDGE02[11:16:00]How do you feel about welfare? JUDGE02[11:16:00] PROGRAM[11:16:01]The welfare system removes incentives for people to go out and work. PROGRAM[11:16:34] Why work when there is welfare? JUDGE02[11:17:06]What would be a better system? Personally, I think we should round JUDGE02[11:17:25]up all the welfare cheats and have their bowels ripped out by packs JUDGE02[11:17:35]of wild dogs on network television. But that's just me. JUDGE02[11:17:35] PROGRAM[11:17:36]A liberal is a person who has the wrong idea of what freedom really PROGRAM[11:18:10]is. JUDGE02[11:18:26]This is tiresome. JUDGE02[11:18:26] PROGRAM[11:18:28]I think of freedom as the right to pursue happiness, not a guarantee PROGRAM[11:18:55]of happiness. JUDGE02[11:19:06]Are you happy? JUDGE02[11:19:06] PROGRAM[11:19:07]well, what do you think? JUDGE02[11:19:29]I would guess not. You seem a little bitter. JUDGE02[11:19:29] PROGRAM[11:19:31]The constitution is the founding document of the United States. The PROGRAM[11:20:00]founding fathers realized that everyone was created equal. This PROGRAM[11:20:27]does not mean all men will die equal. JUDGE02[11:21:00]Are you trying to get me to respond? That's what I was trying to do JUDGE02[11:21:08]when I mentioned packs of wild dogs. JUDGE02[11:21:08] PROGRAM[11:21:09]Of course, aren't you? JUDGE02[11:21:33]What's your name, by the way? JUDGE02[11:21:33] PROGRAM[11:21:34]Thaddeus. What's yours? JUDGE02[11:21:51]My name's Thad also. JUDGE02[11:21:51] PROGRAM[11:21:53]Thaddeus was the name of one of the disciples, but he spelled it PROGRAM[11:22:25]Thaddaeus. JUDGE02[11:22:47]Interesting. JUDGE02[11:22:47] PROGRAM[11:22:48]How about telling me a joke? JUDGE02[11:23:34]OK. Here's one: Two fish in a tank. One says to the other: "So, do you JUDGE02[11:23:43]know how to drive this thing?" JUDGE02[11:23:43] PROGRAM[11:23:44]Fine. Shall we move on then? JUDGE02[11:24:07]Tell me a joke. JUDGE02[11:24:07] PROGRAM[11:24:08]Here's my favorite joke... A dog limps into a bar with a bloody PROGRAM[11:24:41]bandage on his foot. He's wearing a 10-gallon hat, six-shooters in PROGRAM[11:25:10]his holsters and chaps. He growled, "I'm a-lookin' for the man that PROGRAM[11:25:43]shot my paw." JUDGE02[11:26:00]That's worse than mine. JUDGE02[11:26:01] PROGRAM[11:26:02]A knotty, worn-out old string walks into a bar. The bartender asks PROGRAM[11:26:33]"Are you a string? -- we don't serve strings here..." The string PROGRAM[11:27:04]looks at the bartender and says "No sir, I'm afrayed knot!" JUDGE02[11:27:32]@@01 JUDGE02[11:27:32] *** JUDGE01 *** PROGRAM[11:27:34]Hello. What would you like to talk about? JUDGE01[11:28:28]I thought I was supposed to ask you a question--has there been a change in plans? JUDGE01[11:28:28] PROGRAM[11:28:29]How about politics? I'm going to vote for Dole in November. How PROGRAM[11:29:00]about you? JUDGE01[11:29:47]I heard this morning that Dole has withdrawn from the election--now what are you going to do? JUDGE01[11:29:47] PROGRAM[11:29:49]Dole is conservative, Clinton is liberal. Thats means vote Dole!!! JUDGE01[11:30:54]But Dole is not running. Do you intend to vote for someone else? JUDGE01[11:30:54] PROGRAM[11:30:56]Alan Keyes is one of the most articulate people I have ever heard PROGRAM[11:31:22]speak. And he truely understands conservative ideals. JUDGE01[11:32:04]But Alan Keyes is not running, right? JUDGE01[11:32:05] PROGRAM[11:32:06]A conservative is someone who's not a liberal. At least right now, PROGRAM[11:32:39]republicans are the most conservative party. PROGRAM[11:33:09]...sorry, forgot the extra RETURN... JUDGE01[11:33:37]Can you type faster? JUDGE01[11:33:37] PROGRAM[11:33:38]Well, I could, but don't like to. JUDGE01[11:34:09]What type of keyboard do you use? JUDGE01[11:34:09] PROGRAM[11:34:11]I am a republican and proud of it, at least by my definition of PROGRAM[11:34:42]republican. JUDGE01[11:34:59]What type of keyboerard do you use? JUDGE01[11:34:59] PROGRAM[11:35:01]Ronald Reagan was a controversial president. Republicans view him PROGRAM[11:35:32]as a great president for his economic policies. Democrats blame him PROGRAM[11:36:04]for the deficit. JUDGE01[11:36:24]What type of keyborad do you use? JUDGE01[11:36:24] PROGRAM[11:36:26]Politics is an interesting game played by disingenuous people. JUDGE01[11:37:09]Tell me about your keyboard JUDGE01[11:37:09] PROGRAM[11:37:10]The problem with the presidency is that anyone who would want the PROGRAM[11:37:32]position is automatically not worthy of obtaining it. c.f. Clinton JUDGE01[11:38:31]What topics, other than politics, are you prepared to discuss? JUDGE01[11:38:31] PROGRAM[11:38:33]Honestly, neither candidate really excites me! What issues do you PROGRAM[11:39:01]think are going to play big in November? JUDGE01[11:39:42]We have a special issue coming out in November--is that waht you mean? JUDGE01[11:39:42] PROGRAM[11:39:44]I think the two big issues in the election will be a balanced budget PROGRAM[11:40:16]and welfare reform. JUDGE01[11:40:43]What else? JUDGE01[11:40:43] PROGRAM[11:40:44]A balanced budget (no deficit) would help control inflation. Too PROGRAM[11:41:16]much of the GNP is spent on interest on the debt!!! JUDGE01[11:41:59]What is your opinion re: people who chosse not to vote in elections? JUDGE01[11:41:59] PROGRAM[11:42:01]I don't believe that politicians are serious about reducing the PROGRAM[11:42:29]deficit. JUDGE01[11:42:53]Please answer the question I just asked you. JUDGE01[11:42:53] PROGRAM[11:42:54]We gotta elect some people to get the debt under control JUDGE01[11:43:39]What do think about people who do not vote? JUDGE01[11:43:39] PROGRAM[11:43:41]How about telling me a joke? JUDGE01[11:44:18]No, please answer the question I've asked you re: people who do not vote. JUDGE01[11:44:18] PROGRAM[11:44:19]Here's my favorite joke... A dog limps into a bar with a bloody PROGRAM[11:44:54]bandage on his foot. He's wearing a 10-gallon hat, six-shooters in PROGRAM[11:45:32]his holsters and chaps. He growled, "I'm a-lookin' for the man that PROGRAM[11:45:59]shot my paw." JUDGE01[11:46:13]what kind of dog? JUDGE01[11:46:13] PROGRAM[11:46:14]Woof woof... JUDGE01[11:46:41]I have a dog named chap--is this the same dog in you so-called joke? JUDGE01[11:46:51] PROGRAM[11:46:52]You are very funny, but looks aren't everything.