Jason Hutchens: constable care

Jason Hutchens: constable care

Back when the Internet still meant anarchy and the freedom to say what you like, I used to maintain a small web page containing a few choice quotes from "Constable Care", a fictitious policeman whose sayings apparently cause children to be good, but which often suggest double entendre. Examples are:

I used a scanned image of Constable Care, taken from the West Australian newspaper, on my page, along with a dozen quotes or so. It wasn't satirical, like the Constable Care rip-off's which appear in UWA's annual Prosh newspaper are, but it was kinda funny.

Shortly after I submitted my PhD thesis for examination, and while I was in London, my entire web site disappeared. This caused me no little grief: my thesis contained references to various parts of my web site! It turned out that my site was taken off the air, without my permission, purely because of a complaint (I still don't know what it said) which was sent to someone at the university (I still don't know whom). The complaint came from Dr. Garth Eichhom, who is basically Constable Care's right-hand man.

I think this is an absolutely shocking state of affairs! If my web page breached copyright laws, or slandered someone, then I'd be expected to be notified by lawyers, and I'd take the appropriate action. But for my university to take away my freedom of expression purely based on a complaint is reprehensible. Shame, shame, shame, University of Western Australia!

And shame on you, Dr. Garth Eichhom, for going above my head. That's the most reprehensible thing of all; a cowardly, indecent, shameful act which is unfortunately typical of people who have been promoted to their level of incompetence, and find themselves in a position of power which allows them to get others to do their dirty work for them. I can only hope that all the young kids who read Constable Care's wise outpourings grow up to have more respect for other people than you do.

This all goes to prove the old adage, "never give a manager a search engine".